Do you love yourself? Seems like a simple enough question, albeit a bit awkward. Seriously though, can you honestly say that you love yourself despite the flaws, imperfections and shortcomings? As another Valentine’s Day draws near, we’re all conditioned to think about LOVE. The bouquets of roses, boxes of chocolates and soft, cuddly teddy bears meant to send our hearts pitter-pattering with affection – all wonderful things when coming from that special someone. But what about the special someone looking back at you in the mirror?
Weighing Down Your Confidence
Whether you’ve been overweight the majority of your life or you’ve consistently put on weight over the years, chances are it has negatively affected your self-confidence. Societal views on obesity have long been aimed at creating shame and blame for those who suffer from excess weight. And even though there have been strides made in demarginalizing overweight people (clothing stores, advertisements, movies and tv), there is still a stigma attached that can make it very difficult to ever feel comfortable with who “you” are, even after weight loss. Many people think “I’ll lose weight and I’ll finally be accepted…and happy!” But they soon find that they still struggle.
So how can you win the battle? Here are some tips to help you gain confidence and get to a place of loving yourself.
- Hang With Positive People: There’s nothing more draining than being around negative people, so choose to spend time with friends and family that encourage you with positivity, not the naysayers who like to complain or focus on the negative. And be especially careful about your social media interaction – it tends to thrive on tearing down others with negative comments.
- Everyone Is Different, So Don’t Compare: Comparing yourself to others can easily turn into negativity and result in a poor body image. Remember, everyone is different. Swiping through endless before-and-after photos online isn’t helpful. You are on a unique journey to living a better, healthier life – that’s what matters!
- Engage In Uplifting Self-Talk: It’s human nature to have good days and not-so-good days. Don’t let the bad days drag you into a dark place. Instead, recognize when you’re buying into the negativity and STOP! Choose to focus on the positive things happening in your life and the unique and wonderful things that you love about you – and give yourself a pep-talk. Over time, your perspective will shift and you’ll notice the powerful, positive blessings – not the short-comings.
- Take Some Time Just For You: Life gets busy. Work, family, errands – it can leave you tired with no time to just relax and re-energize. So be intentional about rewarding yourself with “me” time. Whether it’s a bubble bath with some lit candles, snuggling up on the couch with a book or maybe just dancing naked in your living room, make time for you.
Some Final Words
You need to know that losing weight and regaining your health do not automatically transform you into a confident, positive person. It takes time and effort – intentional effort. After bariatric surgery, patients can experience rapid weight loss from 60 – 100 pounds or more. It can take some time for a patient’s perception of themselves to catch up to the way their new body looks. So give yourself grace and practice the self-affirming techniques above, but most of all, know that you are worth it. You are strong and capable of doing hard things. So keep going and keep smiling. And don’t forget, we’re here to help. You’ve got this. We’ve got you.
